gracie_010
05-18-2008, 07:37 PM
Hey everyone----
My name is Kirstin and I just wanted to share my testimony with all of you and just maybe it might help somebody out there. Especially females. I grew up in the church and for the most part I had a great childhood. I went to school at a small country school. It was pretty much a bubble. Nothing really ever happen to test someone's faith, so I always assumed that I was secure in my faith. I was a straight A student and a star athlete. Most people would have loved to been in my shoes, except for me. It was tough meeting everyone's expectations. I could have had a triple double in rebounds, steals, and assists, but if I didn't score 20 some points a game, I was a let down. My parents and my coaches were upset with me, because they expected more from me. I've spent my life trying to please everyone and exceed in everything I do which isn't easy and no way to live your life.
So when I had the chance to take a full scholarship to play basketball 8 hours away from home I took it. It was the first time that I was actually on my own and free to make my own choices. Nobody knew me. I stayed in these apartments that only housed the athletes at the college. My first semester I pretty much just stayed in my apartment and hung out with a couple of my teammates. I dated this guy on the basketball team for a bit but he ended up breaking it off when I wouldn't have sex with him. That's about the time I figured out that I was the only person in those apartments who didn't drink and was a virgin. I was completely out of my comfort zone. New years eve, that first year I had my first drink. I expected it to taste gross but I found that I actually liked it. I really only drank a couple of times here and there. Well at the beginning of the second semester, I started dating a guy on the baseball team. Let's call him Matt. He knew where I stood about sex before marriage and I trusted him. To make a long story short, we were at a party for the end of our basketball season and Matt was bringing me my drinks. Next thing I knew, I woke up in his apartment naked with bruises in between my legs. I got up, gathered my stuff, and walked back to my apartment. That was when my roomate told me that Matt had slipped a pill into one of my drinks. Why she didn't stop him I don't know. It turned out that some of the guys on the baseball team had a bet going on to see who could take my virginity from me first. I never turned him in. I blamed myself and thought it was my fault because I had been drinking. After that day, I didn't care what happened to me. I started drinking a lot and messed around with guys. My grades dropped, but I didn't care at all. When I went home, I pretended to be that perfect girl everybody assumed I was but I wasn't that happy go-lucky girl I once was. Finally after my second year, I decided that I needed to get out of there. I was messing up my life. I moved back home and played ball at a christian college near my hometown. All I wanted was my old life back and be that girl I was before the rape. I couldn't escape it. Finally after about 5 months at the new college, I fell into my bed crying and I started to pray. I laid in that bed crying and praying for four hours. It was an absolutley amazing experience. From that day forward, my life did a complete 180. I found that girl again, except a much stronger one. I don't regret what happened to me, because it has made me who I am today. My faith and relationship with God is stronger now then what it has ever been before.
We are put through trials throughout our life and it's up to us to decide how we want to come out of them. In my case, the devil didn't win. I came out on top and I have God to thank for that!
I'm sorry this was so long, but if sharing my story can help just one person then it was well worth it. All I can say is never give up. When you feel like you have nothing left, keep pushing on and looking up to our wonderful Savior because Savior is what He is. You will get through it.
God Bless,
Kirstin
My name is Kirstin and I just wanted to share my testimony with all of you and just maybe it might help somebody out there. Especially females. I grew up in the church and for the most part I had a great childhood. I went to school at a small country school. It was pretty much a bubble. Nothing really ever happen to test someone's faith, so I always assumed that I was secure in my faith. I was a straight A student and a star athlete. Most people would have loved to been in my shoes, except for me. It was tough meeting everyone's expectations. I could have had a triple double in rebounds, steals, and assists, but if I didn't score 20 some points a game, I was a let down. My parents and my coaches were upset with me, because they expected more from me. I've spent my life trying to please everyone and exceed in everything I do which isn't easy and no way to live your life.
So when I had the chance to take a full scholarship to play basketball 8 hours away from home I took it. It was the first time that I was actually on my own and free to make my own choices. Nobody knew me. I stayed in these apartments that only housed the athletes at the college. My first semester I pretty much just stayed in my apartment and hung out with a couple of my teammates. I dated this guy on the basketball team for a bit but he ended up breaking it off when I wouldn't have sex with him. That's about the time I figured out that I was the only person in those apartments who didn't drink and was a virgin. I was completely out of my comfort zone. New years eve, that first year I had my first drink. I expected it to taste gross but I found that I actually liked it. I really only drank a couple of times here and there. Well at the beginning of the second semester, I started dating a guy on the baseball team. Let's call him Matt. He knew where I stood about sex before marriage and I trusted him. To make a long story short, we were at a party for the end of our basketball season and Matt was bringing me my drinks. Next thing I knew, I woke up in his apartment naked with bruises in between my legs. I got up, gathered my stuff, and walked back to my apartment. That was when my roomate told me that Matt had slipped a pill into one of my drinks. Why she didn't stop him I don't know. It turned out that some of the guys on the baseball team had a bet going on to see who could take my virginity from me first. I never turned him in. I blamed myself and thought it was my fault because I had been drinking. After that day, I didn't care what happened to me. I started drinking a lot and messed around with guys. My grades dropped, but I didn't care at all. When I went home, I pretended to be that perfect girl everybody assumed I was but I wasn't that happy go-lucky girl I once was. Finally after my second year, I decided that I needed to get out of there. I was messing up my life. I moved back home and played ball at a christian college near my hometown. All I wanted was my old life back and be that girl I was before the rape. I couldn't escape it. Finally after about 5 months at the new college, I fell into my bed crying and I started to pray. I laid in that bed crying and praying for four hours. It was an absolutley amazing experience. From that day forward, my life did a complete 180. I found that girl again, except a much stronger one. I don't regret what happened to me, because it has made me who I am today. My faith and relationship with God is stronger now then what it has ever been before.
We are put through trials throughout our life and it's up to us to decide how we want to come out of them. In my case, the devil didn't win. I came out on top and I have God to thank for that!
I'm sorry this was so long, but if sharing my story can help just one person then it was well worth it. All I can say is never give up. When you feel like you have nothing left, keep pushing on and looking up to our wonderful Savior because Savior is what He is. You will get through it.
God Bless,
Kirstin