i'm a loner kid. always have been.

[Bubelaiken]

Hey guys

Everytime i watch his new video

Let it fade about a woman who don't believe in god.
i watch it over and over

im a loner always has been
i know adam told me that being a loner can be good things because you can think about god more often but
sometimes being a loner sucks!!

i don't really have a lots of freinds. I done a lots bad stuff because what i been throught.
i always sit by myself, i never really talk to anyone! i don't have a lots of freinds.
soo it sucks!!

sometimes i think i should go back to my old life where i do bad stuff.

thank god adam don't have time to read this!
he would said something serious.

there some days i feel like i should go back to my old life.

there is some days i feel like i don't go back to my old life.

it more mixed up feelings.

[AmandaT]

Leyanet, realize that you aren't alone in your feelings. I'm basically a loner myself. I spend probably 80% or more of my time alone. I don't have a lot of friends either. I kind of sum up all of this in the last paragraph, so if you want to skip to the point, just jump down to the last paragraph.

I've been ditched by "friends" because I wasn't cool enough. I've lost contact with friends due to moving. My last two years of high school, I was miserable. I had just moved to CA and no one seemed to care that I existed. I didn't really have anyone to talk to, so I ate lunch alone every day. I was as nice to people as I possibly could be, but didn't really make friends. I tried joining a youth group, but even then the only friends I made were the group leaders, who were the parents of the kids in the group. I kind of just became a hermit because I was tired of putting myself out there and getting rejected.

Once I started college, I was still in that loner mentality. I didn't want to put myself out there because I was still afraid of rejection. I lost 45 pounds in about 3 months because I basically stopped eating unless I had someone to eat with (which wasn't very often). I hated going to the cafeteria and eating by myself because it reminded me of high school and I felt horrible watching other people hanging out while I was alone. I started spending a lot of time alone in my room because I resigned myself to being alone.

Going into my second year of college, I realized it was time to make some changes. I realized that instead of thinking about how much things sucked due to being a loner, I would start putting myself out there. I prayed to meet true friends. I accepted invitations to do things, even if it was for the smallest thing. Instead of waiting for people to call me, I started calling or texting them to go to church or to lunch/dinner.

And most importantly, I learned how to use my alone time. Knowing my own thought process, I realize how easy it is for me to resort to pessimism. I probably beat myself up verbally more than the comments I got in school. I've often spent time alone just thinking about why I'm alone. The results in my own mind were always that I was worthless, not nice enough, not funny enough, etc. But the thing is, that's all the junk that the devil wants you to believe. He wants you to believe that you are alone because you aren't worth hanging out with, but it's not true. Sometimes you are alone because of the choices you make (like when I would decide to turn down invitations to do things), but sometimes your alone time is also an opportunity to do things you couldn't do in groups.

My friend Jennifer, who I see as an answer to my prayers for true friendship, is not a dancer, but she LOVES to spend her alone time dancing in her room to worship music. My friend Isabel, who is also an answer to prayer, spends a lot of time listening to music and looking into things like production and mixing. I've learned to spend my alone time listening to music. I spend a lot of time listening to music, singing to music, or looking for new music to listen to. I can do all of those things with people around, but I feel much more comfortable doing those things on my own. I've developed knowledge about different bands and music through the alone time I've had looking into it. I've had people stop me and ask "How do you know all of this?" because they haven't met someone else who is so passionate about music or music business. I don't pretend to be a musical prodigy or anything, but I like talking about what I'm into, which is music and music business. And looking at what I know in retrospect I can see that I learned most of what I know in the alone time I had. I've also had some great time with God in my alone time. I worship God a lot through singing, and I feel the most free to sing to Him when I'm alone. It's also easier to concentrate on reading the Bible when I'm alone. I get distracted pretty easily at times, especially if there are people around to be distractions.


I guess what I'm basically trying to say is that while I will agree with you that sometimes being alone sucks, you can change that. There will always be times now and again when you wish you had someone to hang out with, but you can make your alone time better for yourself. You can also lessen the time that is spent alone. You have to put yourself out there. Don't worry about rejection. People that don't want to hang out with you are missing out. Don't dwell on those people, but rather keep being yourself and keep being nice to those you come in contact with. Don't believe a lie that you aren't worth hanging out with. You just haven't met your best friends yet. Keep praying that you'll meet them. And keep developing the hobbies and passions that you have. You might have some God given gifts that you aren't aware of yet. Seek after Him to figure out what those gifts are. I know you're into skateboarding, so keep doing that. Your alone time can be a great opportunity to develop your skating skills. Use your alone time to freely worship God. If you sing, then sing to Him. If you dance, then dance for Him. Whatever it is, do it freely. As cliché as it is to say, your alone time really can be a great opportunity to get to know God more deeply. Looking back on the last 5 years of my life, I wish now that I had spent more of my alone time seeking after God. And definitely don't go back to how things were. I don't know your whole story, but I don't think the past is where you want to go. It can be hard to press on, but forward motion is the best choice. Your old life is in the past, and God has bigger plans for your future if you're willing to seek after Him and leave the past in the past.

[LauraA]

One thing that I have seen work is when someone who is lonely looks around for others who appear lonely. Don't come on strong, but just a friendly "Hi" with a smile. A friendly chat can grow into a deep friendship. Pray and about it and ask the Lord to direct you to the right person.

Jesus Loves You~