Suicide Threat

[LauraA]

A few months ago one of my daycare kids, (age 4), started talking about how his mom has a boyfriend and his dad keeps crying. I didn't know if he was making things up or if something was going on with his parents.

This week the boy told me that they are moving out and his dad is staying in the home. They moved in with the mom's boyfriend. Today when the father (who is a shy, quiet, very nice man) dropped the boys off, the 4 year old said, "My dad's going to kill himself." His dad and I just stood there not knowing what to say, then the dad said, "Son, don't talk like that." It was obvious that he was embarrassed.

When the dad left, the 4 year old said, "My dad told me he's going to kill himself. He's sad that mommy went with her boyfriend. They got divorced now. I'm scared." I asked him if his dad told him that he was going to kill himself, or if he heard his dad tell his mom that he's going to. He said, "He told me."

Any advice? I'm praying. I called my husband and asked him to pray and what I should do. He's going to call me back. Should I call my pastor? Should I call his wife...or ex-wife? This man is not the type of guy to play games. He would never tell his son that unless he were seriously considering it. If I call the police, they would say that they can't do anything about it unless something happens. I'm at a loss and I'm pretty scared for the dad and kids....

[LauraA]

If you would pray about this, I'd so appreciate it.

Dan is coming home from work and will take the kids back to the classroom. I'm going to try to talk to the dad when he picks the boys up at noon, (I'm trying to avoid using his name), and encourage him to get some help and focus on the kids needing him. I'm pretty nervous about it. Please pray that the Lord would give me the right words and that he would respond and get some help.

Thanks so much!

[JeepGirl83]

Laura, I just prayed about this situation. Please update when you can. Gosh, I sure hope he doesn't cause any harm to himself or anyone for that matter. Just be careful, okay. I pray that God will give you the right words to speak this man. I feel sad for the little boy too.

[LauraA]

Thank you so much! I need the Lord to calm my nerves, too. I'm really uneasy about this, but I know it's the right thing to do. Dan is taking off work to watch the kids so the dad might feel open to talk. Plus I think Dan doesn't want me here alone with him in case he would flip out or something.

One of the boys is going to be 5 on Friday and the other will be 3 next week. I don't think the younger one has a clue, but the older boy is restless today, of course. Very sad. Thank you for praying. Their dad will be here in just over an hour.

Laura

[JeepGirl83]

Laura, I am glad Dan is coming home to be there. I didn't feel comfortable with you and the man (considering the situation) being by yourself just in case he did become upset about you discussing the matter. I'm glad Dan will be there. Praying that the situation turns out well.

((HUGS))

[Kelly]

Wow! Praying for you!!!! Please let us know how it goes!!!

[LauraA]

God is GOOD! Thank you all for praying. I could feel the Lord during the entire conversation. Basically, he's very sad about his marriage failing, etc. He opened up and we talked for about 25 minutes. It went really well. He mentioned a few things "future-tense", which was good. I assured him that even though he was hurting now, the pain will subside over time. I also told him that if he needed to change anything with the daycare hours or anything like that, we'd work it all out. I think he felt better when he left. Please keep him in prayer, though, if/when you think about it.

Thanks Again!
Laura

[Kelly]

SO glad to hear that Laura!!!! :) Keeping him in prayer!

[CherryCokeGrl]

Laura,

Robyne told me about the situation and I have been praying for all of you. I'm so glad that the talk went well and I sure hope he will continue to talk with people and hopefully work things out. I will keep praying. Thanks for the update!

[sv3]

Oh Laura, I'm so sorry to hear about this. God knows what He is doing. I'm glad that the little boy you take care of can confide in you, if you had not known anything...this day could have turned out very different. It's great that you had a chance to talk to him and I will keep all of you in my prayers. Having gone through an awful and painful divorce, I can understand the hurt and hopelessness that comes along with it all. And you are right, "This too shall pass".

[CaraBear]

Laura,
I am soo glad that you were there....the Lord used you in the right way......I will continue to pray for this family as it looks there is a long road ahead.

[LauraA]

Thanks to all of you! I will keep an open ear to anything the kids might hint at and try to keep their dad talking just a little bit each day. He's a wonderful daddy to those boys and they need him. And he needs them.

[Kelly]

I'm so glad you took the initiative to talk to him! Sometimes that's all it takes to turn a life around! My uncle's sister was going through some hard times...her father was suicidal, as was her husband. One day, she was outside on the phone with her father trying to talk him out of doing something...meanwhile, her husband was desperately trying to get her attention, but she chose to stay on the phone with her father and her husband went inside and committed suicide right then and there. I can't even imagine what she's going through after that! I believe her father is doing well though since talking to her.

Seventh Day Slumber does a live video chat every week and last night they talked a lot about people who are hurting for one reason or another and Joseph said his best advice is just to "take it one step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time. Maybe even one minute at a time. Just focus on being happy for the next minute of your life."

[confused]

i am glad things worked out the way they did. crisis averted!!



on an off note though, it bothers me when adults try to get thier children involved with their own problems. me sis's exhusband does this all the time with his two young children and it drives me crazy.
they'll come home and say he asked if she has a new boyfriend, and that he's sad and that he wants them to be a family again, etc.
i hate it.

[LauraA]

I'm so glad you took the initiative to talk to him! Sometimes that's all it takes to turn a life around! My uncle's sister was going through some hard times...her father was suicidal, as was her husband. One day, she was outside on the phone with her father trying to talk him out of doing something...meanwhile, her husband was desperately trying to get her attention, but she chose to stay on the phone with her father and her husband went inside and committed suicide right then and there. I can't even imagine what she's going through after that! I believe her father is doing well though since talking to her.

Seventh Day Slumber does a live video chat every week and last night they talked a lot about people who are hurting for one reason or another and Joseph said his best advice is just to "take it one step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time. Maybe even one minute at a time. Just focus on being happy for the next minute of your life."

Oh my! That is so sad!!! How long ago did that happen? I'm praying for her right now. I'm glad to hear that her father is doing better, too.

I like what you told us from Seventh Day Slumber. Very wise.

[LauraA]

i am glad things worked out the way they did. crisis averted!!



on an off note though, it bothers me when adults try to get thier children involved with their own problems. me sis's exhusband does this all the time with his two young children and it drives me crazy.
they'll come home and say he asked if she has a new boyfriend, and that he's sad and that he wants them to be a family again, etc.
i hate it.

It sounds like he's trying to manipulate the children into thinking it's their mother's fault that they aren't a family. That tactic will backfire. The kids need his love, not that type of emotional stress.

[confused]

It sounds like he's trying to manipulate the children into thinking it's their mother's fault that they aren't a family. That tactic will backfire. The kids need his love, not that type of emotional stress.

exactly...
i was asking my sister just the other day, "when do you think the kids will wake up and realize their father is not god?" because right now they do. they are 3 and 4 and they love him so much. but he doesn't love them the way he should, and has never done one single thing for them. and he proves it by his inability to kick a bad drug habit.

one day though, they will realize it... and it will break their little hearts...

[RockonJeremy]

Wow dats really scary for dat lil boy. Maybe u should try to talk w/the lil boy's dad and c if its true. I will pray for him. I wish u luck