Outcast
06-10-2008, 11:21 PM
hey guys!
Some definite praises for this week. A friend of a friend came up from Mobile Alabama and she has been helping me get around as i dont have much gas funds now to DEFACS and other places like the Social security Administration. Got me some used clothes at goodwill to help me "dress for success" and even a haircut and a surprisingly first time eyebrow job...most painful thing i ever felt in my life and i have had 14 corrective surgeries for my feet and legs..so i know pain:D Darlene is kind of the jump in and help people type person...heart of gold...but also is the "take over" kind of person. I am thankful to god for her friendship and the blessings she has given me the past few days. I now have food stamps coming to me because she knew the right and faster channels to go through. The prayer need: I am about to make her very angry. She is adament and all gung-ho about me getting on SSI and Disability...to the point of what i think and say are becoming a tiny, still small voice. hard to get help from the Georgia Housing Authority if you are not on it, or at least that is what she says. I am having to gently but firmly ask her to let me go back into the offices of these various oraganizations alone. i consider myself an adult at 39 year old wheelchair/limited mobility or not...and well, this is still my private business. She seemed kind of stunned but agreed when i gently asked her to let me go through the rest of the meetings at DEFACS alone...But well, I am looking at the disability/ssi benefits application online and it doesnt feel right for me. With Yes/No questions like "Do you forsee not being able to work due to your disability for at least 12 months?" "When did you become disabled and unable to work?, etc etc. i feel like it is just the first steps to giving up in life...Why is it that a normal person becomes unemployed and goes through a hard time and peopel and churches help out and he or she is helped to get a job and then all is OK...but let someone in a wheelchair who has worked 40-60 hour weeks for the past 3 years gets terminated and suddenly disability and money from the government is all people can visualize for this person? My friend promised we would ge tto the labor dept and get my benefits back somehow...and that we would job hunt...but somehow that got lost and forgotten. Now she talks of me getting disability and working 15-20 hours a week...or maybe even getting a volunteer job so I can feel "productive" still. And now she talks of a motorized scooter i can get for free if i get on medicaid...i like using my legs still when i use the chair...and like being able to get up limited distances to walk solo and with the walker. I want to wait on the social security and disability and try to job hunt full time and get my life back as i know it:) i havent had a real chance to try or suceed since "the strings of my unemployment benefits parachute got cut". i also learn recently that she and my friend Ty have undefined feelings for each other for almost 8 years. He is very country and stubborn. Been yelling and me and arguing disability since i got fired from Lason...putting down my job efforts and calling it "dead end". telling me to quit being prideful and trying to argue and let peopel try to help me and do like they tell me. i fear as she has expressed to me many a time that she wants him to "like her for more than a friend" that she will be to fast to agree with his point of view. I dont feel very beleived in right now...i want more than "material help/support from them"...Anyway, I have the hard thing to tell her tomorrow that I want to wait on all the disability stuff and i want to use the time she is offering me to hit a few more job agencies and places and job hunt. So, needing prayer because both she and my friend are gonna hit the roof...
Some definite praises for this week. A friend of a friend came up from Mobile Alabama and she has been helping me get around as i dont have much gas funds now to DEFACS and other places like the Social security Administration. Got me some used clothes at goodwill to help me "dress for success" and even a haircut and a surprisingly first time eyebrow job...most painful thing i ever felt in my life and i have had 14 corrective surgeries for my feet and legs..so i know pain:D Darlene is kind of the jump in and help people type person...heart of gold...but also is the "take over" kind of person. I am thankful to god for her friendship and the blessings she has given me the past few days. I now have food stamps coming to me because she knew the right and faster channels to go through. The prayer need: I am about to make her very angry. She is adament and all gung-ho about me getting on SSI and Disability...to the point of what i think and say are becoming a tiny, still small voice. hard to get help from the Georgia Housing Authority if you are not on it, or at least that is what she says. I am having to gently but firmly ask her to let me go back into the offices of these various oraganizations alone. i consider myself an adult at 39 year old wheelchair/limited mobility or not...and well, this is still my private business. She seemed kind of stunned but agreed when i gently asked her to let me go through the rest of the meetings at DEFACS alone...But well, I am looking at the disability/ssi benefits application online and it doesnt feel right for me. With Yes/No questions like "Do you forsee not being able to work due to your disability for at least 12 months?" "When did you become disabled and unable to work?, etc etc. i feel like it is just the first steps to giving up in life...Why is it that a normal person becomes unemployed and goes through a hard time and peopel and churches help out and he or she is helped to get a job and then all is OK...but let someone in a wheelchair who has worked 40-60 hour weeks for the past 3 years gets terminated and suddenly disability and money from the government is all people can visualize for this person? My friend promised we would ge tto the labor dept and get my benefits back somehow...and that we would job hunt...but somehow that got lost and forgotten. Now she talks of me getting disability and working 15-20 hours a week...or maybe even getting a volunteer job so I can feel "productive" still. And now she talks of a motorized scooter i can get for free if i get on medicaid...i like using my legs still when i use the chair...and like being able to get up limited distances to walk solo and with the walker. I want to wait on the social security and disability and try to job hunt full time and get my life back as i know it:) i havent had a real chance to try or suceed since "the strings of my unemployment benefits parachute got cut". i also learn recently that she and my friend Ty have undefined feelings for each other for almost 8 years. He is very country and stubborn. Been yelling and me and arguing disability since i got fired from Lason...putting down my job efforts and calling it "dead end". telling me to quit being prideful and trying to argue and let peopel try to help me and do like they tell me. i fear as she has expressed to me many a time that she wants him to "like her for more than a friend" that she will be to fast to agree with his point of view. I dont feel very beleived in right now...i want more than "material help/support from them"...Anyway, I have the hard thing to tell her tomorrow that I want to wait on all the disability stuff and i want to use the time she is offering me to hit a few more job agencies and places and job hunt. So, needing prayer because both she and my friend are gonna hit the roof...