Parenting

[LauraA]

I thought it would be a good time to start a thread on parenting. We can discuss things that work with our children, things that don't work. What about teaching them about Jesus? Discipline? Friends? Teenagers. "Terrible Twos" or more accurately, "Threes". What is your opinion on counting to three before requiring your child to mind? What do you think makes a great parent? What are some mistakes you've made? What kind of parent do you want to me when you have children, for those of you who do not have children yet? And last but not least....was it YOUR child throwing a fit in the grocery store?!

[Outcast]

I am definitely game. I don't have any children...just a very mischievous funny pet rabbit...does that count?;) Seriously, I think this thread is an excellent idea...whether you are a parent or not...we all have to come in contact and deal with children and teenagers in everyday life. We all have observations and things to share.

As for the "counting to three" discpline technique, i find it to be so annoying in public or in any gathering. Usually the kids are out of control in their behavior and it is usually poorly enforced. I often find myself waiting in suspense to see if the kids are going to dare to do it or not. Remember though I am talking about my region and city aroudn Newnan, Georgia. People are becoming parents at younger and younger ages here too. I once was in a laundromat washing my clothes and watched as a very sweet litlte 2 year old was walking all over the place...but she wasnt being watched at all by her young mother. The child was trying to open the doors leading out to the parking lot...walking around to the back of the facility where there was an open back door and pushing the clothes carts all around and even going behind the cashiers counter and back. Not to mention it was a crowded place...anyone could have snatched the child. The mother would get annoyed if the child bothered her and she would yell at her in a foreign language for "bothering mommy". "Mommy" was "busy"...she had taken the child's coloring book and crayons and was "coloring" and wanted to be left alone.
But truthfully, parents are especially afraid to disciple after recent events at our local Kroger store. One lady was arrested last week and charged with child abuse. The toddler kept grabbign things and the mother popped the child's hands and the child began squalling. One of the employees working the service desk called the police because she felt the child's hands had been popped too hard and unfairly...but all the police needed was just to see proof that she had popped her child's hands...no matter what esle happened...even a light pop and child crying counted as abuse. The employee was later fired by management but now this woman's life is messed up and her child is in defacs custody now. So how do you discipline in this day and age with "Big Brother" watching? In this day and age, I am actually glad I am withotu children. I mean, if I were ever charged with child abuse for simply discliping my child with a spanking (not a beating but a spanking...there is a difference) or for grounding my children...which can now be considered cruel mentally abusive punishment now...I would have to be put under the jail because there would be some major civil disobedience...I would defy the judge, the police and the officials to my dying breath:)

[LauraA]

^^^Yes.

Very sad that a two year old isn't watched carefully in a public place. I just can't imagine.

As far as the counting to 3, I totally disagree with that technique. Think of it this way. Counting to three to let a child decide if he or she wants to obey you....it's training a child to delay that self control or submission to authority. So, if a person's kid runs into the road without looking, will he obey when mom or dad yell, "STOP!" because there is a car coming? Or will they be so used to waiting for the count before acting that they keep going or stand there waiting for "3". I have never done the "1, 2, 3" thing and I never plan to.

Children are not being taught to obey these days. (General population). For instance, a friend of mine works in a daycare and she said that they are often told, "No, I don't have to listen to you" by children. She told me just today that a couple times a week they are 45 minutes to an hour late getting back from field trips or the pool because a child refuses to get out of the water or on the bus. And they are not allowed to pick the child up and carry them on or out of the water! So the child has total power over the adults, the other kids, the parents back at the daycare waiting for them or arrive, etc. That made me sick. It really did. Can you imagine what these children are going to be like when they are teenagers?! Jesus help us!

Despite the trend these days, I love being a mama and staying home with our little one. I do have to do daycare to help out financially, but our goal is for me to cut way back (which I will be doing next week), and eventually be able to quit. I'm also home schooling Ben, which is a total JOY! It's really fun to be explaining a new concept in math or another subject, and have him look at me and say, "I understand this. Thank you." I love that we can stop school and he can give me a big hug or ask me a question about the Lord. I love seeing him learn about snakes, fish and elephants, and gaze in wonder at the things God created. Yes, there are frustrations and distractions. But keeping calm and being consistent pays off. Also, following through with what I say I will do, be it a reward or a restriction, makes a world of difference.

You know what is hard for me? When he's talking boy stuff, things he thinks are funny and he doesn't want to stop. It's hard when I feel like laughing at his antics, but I know it would only encourage him to continue. LOL. :eek:

[themadclipper]

Honestly, I barely skimmed the first two posts, but I will be happy to contribute my two cents worth with two words:

Duck tape.:cool:

[LauraA]

Honestly, I barely skimmed the first two posts, but I will be happy to contribute my two cents worth with two words:

Duck tape.:cool:

Does it come with instructions? ;)

[Lindleigh]

My girls are all in their teens... well except the oldest who just turned 20, therefore finally escaping her teen years. In some ways she's not a particularly mature 20 and in others she's more mature.

I see your point about the counting to 3. I never thought of it quite like that. I used it on my oldest some when she was very small, but that I recall, I only used it at home and not in public. In public, I fully expected her to behave and she did. We never had problems with them in restaurants. I do remember one incident with the girls when my mother in-law and I were trying to get some errands accomplished and the girls were going through the clothes racks and playing and just all around being annoying and I told them that if they didn't want a swat and they did want to get ice cream after this little trip, they would have to sit right at my feet and not move and not disturb anyone else for the duration of the task we were trying to accomplish. I was actually commended by the clerk who commented that it was nice to know that some people do still "spank" and that it was nice to see someone discipline their child and make them mind. In my 20 years of being a parent, I think I have spanked my kids a small handful of times and that was for something bigger than just misbehaving and 1-2 swats as opposed to a true "spanking". I just never believed that that was the way to get the reaction you wanted. Usually taking something away from them (a special toy or getting to watch tv), did the trick for me. It seems I always had the good fortune that when the girls went to other people's homes and came home, I was always complimented on what well behaved girls they are.

I am truly blessed.

Cinda